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Myself5 Reasons Why Not to Have a Lover

Posted Oct 2012

No matter what is your attitude or potential decision regarding having and affair, consider these 5 tips before making decision.

Every relation with partner has different phases, ups and downs, sunny and rainy days. Sooner or later you may come to situation of saturation and lack of passion. Unfortunately, this is quite often. This could be even “normal”.

Why is this normal? Human being is very adaptive in its nature. It gets accustomed to every situation. Once in the new situation, the human mind and body will try to adopt. If you start with jogging after the long period of inactivity, you probably will not last even for a mile. But after the period of training you will do it. In time it will become more and more easily, simply because you adapt to the new situation. You have accustomed.

Similar principle is valid for the situation with your partner. At the beginning you are excited even on the thought about person that attracts you. Later, excitement and passion is being gradually replaced by routine and daily problems. You have accustomed.

As attempt to reactivate the sexual life some people try to engage to parallel relationship with another person.

Is this a good solution? Is this smart solution? Is this moral solution? The answer to these questions is probably no. I said “probably” because many people will not have answer to these questions, simply because they are subconsciously trying to suppress thoughts on these questions. They will simply engage another person. Before ( or after ) engaging an affair consider these 5 reasons why not to have a lover.


This is quite obvious reason. Engaging intercourse with another person increase the chances of “pick up” of some bacteria or virus. Using protection is partial solution. Once infected the infection spread to your partner.


Despite the wish to enrich the sexual life with variety, you will adopt to that situation too. So again, you will have two adopted relationships instead of one, with the price of additional complexity.

Problems with your partner

Nothing can be hidden on the long run. Sooner or later the “secret” is revealed no matter how try you hard to hide it. By the way, your effort of hiding an affair is very exhausting, so the question is does it really worth it?

Problems with your Lover

Despite any possible agreement with you lover that you define at the beginning, it is highly likely that situation will change. Your lover will probably start with additional demands. These demands can be different. It can be request for money, marriage, more frequent rendezvous, or even different threats. One thing is certain, the relationship can not stay as you initially imagined, planned and agreed.

Time and resources required

Finally, the affair will drain you in many ways. It will take your energy, time and emotional peace. At the beginning this may be entertaining, but later it will become annoying. Also, affair will cost you money, probably more and more as the time goes.

Final conclusion is yours. To engage an affair or not is quite personal decision. But the consequences are concerning your partner and whole family as well. Affair can be a good thing at the beginning.

But the bottom line balance will not be positive for sure. No matter what is your attitude or potential decision regarding the affair, consider these 5 tips before deciding.



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